The Joy of Following Your Own Rules

There is significant pressure in the world for us all to be perfect. The perfect employee, parent, student, child, and so on. There is a seemingly endless supply of information available claiming that it can help us get closer to that goal of perfection.  The pressure of this constant pushing can be hard to handle, and some make different choices (good and bad) than they might without the social pressures.

While it might sound easy, it is actually difficult to let go and ignore the people who should really have no say in our lives. Sometimes we need to put the blinders on and focus on doing the best we can with what we feel is important, rather than doing the best we can to fit the expectations of others. It is a challenge, especially now when new is so immediate and our lives feel so interconnected via social media.

I have found that there is a movement out there to help us all focus on what is truly important (the health and happiness of ourselves and those we love) rather than fitting the labels perfect1or expectations others might want to impose on us. Here are a variety of book that encourage us to let go of those restrictions to take care of ourselves and our loved ones in our own way. Fair warning though, there is some censored profanity in some of the titles, and the tone of the book often matches the title.

Big Girl: How I Gave up Dieting and Got a Life by Kelsey Miller

The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck: How to Stop Spending Time You Don’t Have with People You Don’t Like Doing Things You Don’t Want to Do by Sarah Knight

Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos

Better Than Normal: How What Makes You Different Can Make You Exceptional by Dale Archer

jacket-aspxF*ck Feelings: One Shrink’s Practical Advice for Managing All Life’s Impossible Problems by Michael I. Bennett, MD, and Sarah Bennet

The Tao of Martha: My Year perfect2of LIVING, or Why I’m Never Getting All That Glitter Off of The Dog by Jen Lancaster

Helping Me Help Myself: One Skeptic, Ten Self-Help Gurus, and a Year on the Brink of the Comfort Zone by Beth Lisick

Fat Girl Walking: Sex, Food, Love, and Being Comfortable in Your Skin– Every Inch of It by Brittany Gibbons

Do you have a favorite read that helps remind you to just be you and ignore the critics of society? Please share it with us in the comments!

Protect Yourself from Tech Support Scams

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As the Technology Coordinator at the Cheshire Public Library, I am sometimes asked about the legitimacy of virus and malware alerts.

Imagine you’re browsing the web or enjoying a cup of coffee at home and you receive a phone call from someone claiming to be from Microsoft or another well-known technology company. They say they’ve detected viruses or spyware or malware on your computer that could damage your system or steal your identity. They emphasize the danger you’re in and say your bank account and credit card information could be in jeopardy. They offer to sell you anti-virus software or fix your computer. Does this scenario sound familiar?

IT’S A SCAM! Instead of a phone call, these scams can also take the form of pop-up warnings or email messages. These scammers might:

  1. Try to enroll you in a bogus computer security or virus protection subscription program that does nothing.
  2. Ask you for your credit card information to bill you for phony services or protection you can get for free.
  3. Trick you into installing malware that could steal your usernames, passwords, and financial information.
  4. Ask you to give them remote access to your computer and then change settings so they can then infect your computer.
  5. Ask you to visit certain malicious websites to enter credit card information and personal details that they then use to make fraudulent charges.

These scam artists take advantage of our reasonable concerns about viruses, privacy, and identity theft. They purposely prey on groups who may not have as much experience with computers and the way they work, like senior citizens. Their aim is not to protect your computer or your identity, but the exact opposite. They want to make money, steal your identity, or take over your computer to do just that. It is these pop-ups, ads, emails and phone calls that are the real security threats.

If you find yourself dealing with one of these scams, please stay calm. Rest assured your computer or identity are not in peril and do not give out any personal or financial information. Report the phone call, pop-up, or email to the Federal Trade Commission by calling the Identity Theft Hotline at 1-877-438-4338 or TTY 1-866-653-4261.


Technology Help – Need device advice? Schedule a one-on-one lesson in the basics of computers, laptops, tablets, and eReaders. Click here to request an appointment online or call the library at 203-272-2245 to make an appointment. The library also offers a monthly Drop-in Tech Help program.

 

Thanksgiving 101

It’s approaching. The holiday where we have to cook for large groups of people. People moreover, to whom we are related. Talk about nerve-racking! (At least it’s nerve-racking to a non-cooking introvert like myself!)

So all you other non-cooking introverts, take a moment and give thanks for the library, which has all the recipes, tips, tricks and  expertise to get us all through the Big Dinner.

 

thanksgiving-101Thanksgiving 101 : celebrate America’s Favorite Holiday with America’s Thanksgiving Expert / Rick Rodgers.
This book asks the important question: When was the last time most of us made dinner for such a big crowd?  Exactly! But whether you’re looking for new ways to cook turkey; traditional trimmings, chutneys, or chowders; a vegetarian entrée; or fresh ideas for regional classics, including Cajun-or Italian-inspired tastes, Thanksgiving 101 serves up a delicious education for novice and experienced cooks alike.

 

The holidays are a time for family and friends.  Thanksgiving can also be a time of stress, anxiety, and slaving over a hot stove.  No kidding! The editors of Fine Cooking magazine know all about the problems and pitfalls of preparing a full-course holiday meal…and they are here to help! This cooking survival guide presents all the reader needs to know to make things go smoothly, look great, and taste delicious. Phew!

 

jacket-aspxThanksgiving : How to Cook it Well / Sam Sifton
From the planning of the meal to the washing of the last plate, Sam Sifton says Thanksgiving poses more—and more vexing—problems for the home cook than any other holiday. (Let’s hear it for truth in cookbooks!) In this smartly written, beautifully illustrated, recipe-filled book, Sam Sifton, the New York Times’s former restaurant critic and resident Thanksgiving expert, delivers a message of great comfort and solace: There is no need for fear. You can cook a great meal on Thanksgiving. You can have a great time.

 

jacket-aspx2Williams-Sonoma Thanksgiving / Michael McLaughlin
Williams-Sonoma Thanksgiving offers easy-to-follow recipes, making it a fave on my list. In these pages, you’ll find inspiring first courses and a tempting variety of side dishes and desserts as well as some new ideas for the main course. This vividly photographed, full-color recipe collection will become an essential addition to your kitchen bookshelf.

 

jacket-aspxThanksgiving : Recipes for a Holiday Meal / Lou Seibert Pappas
This  book offers dozens of favorite traditional and contemporary holiday dishes including a variety of vegetarian options, organizing entries by course while sharing tips for staying organized, carving a turkey, and using leftovers. Any cookbook that tackles leftovers is a winner!

 

pioneerThe Pioneer Woman Cooks : A Year of Holidays : 140 step-by-step Recipes for Simple, Scrumptious Celebrations / Ree Drummond
Ree’s recipes are accompanied by fun instructions and hundreds of her signature step-by-step photos. Filled with creative and flavorful ideas for intimate dinners, group gatherings, and family meals this cookbook includes dozens of mouthwatering dishes (with nineteen recipes for Thanksgiving alone!)

 

chewThe Chew, a Year of Celebrations : Festive and Delicious Recipes for Every Occasion / edited by Ashley Archer and Jessica Dorfman Jones
This cookbook will guide you through the planning, cooking of the year’s most celebrated events. With a complete spread for each celebration, including drinks, appetizers, entrees, sides, and desserts, the guesswork is taken out of menu creation; all that’s left to do is prepare and enjoy the fantastic food. And Carla Hall’s Pumpkin Pecan Pie will finally eliminate the toughest Thanksgiving decision: classic pumpkin or classic pecan?

 

bettyBetty Crocker Complete Thanksgiving Cookbook : All You Need to Cook a Foolproof Dinner
Kudos to Betty Crocker who admits, “Thanksgiving can be the most challenging meal to prepare-even for the most experienced cooks.” Truth! However, whether you’re cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the first time or have hosted this celebration for years, Betty comes to the rescue with this complete do-it-yourself guide to making Thanksgiving delicious. Here are the treasured recipes with all the trimmings that you grew up with, plus plenty of great new twists on the traditional.

Helping Young Children Deal With Grief

griefp1When a family faces grief due to the loss of a pet, home, or family member it is often hard to help our youngest family members deal with the changes. Sometimes we are so busy trying to deal with our own grief and the practical matters that need to be handled that we don’t have the energy and creative thinking necessary to handle the questions children have. Here are a variety of books that might help you and your kids deal with the emotions and changes.

In Our Parenting Section:griefp2
Tear Soup: a Recipe for Healing After Loss by Pat Schwiebert and Chuck DeKlyen; illustrated by Taylor Bills

Lifetimes: a Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children by Bryan Mellonie and Robert Ingp

griefp3When Dinosaurs Die: a Guide to Understanding Death by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown

Guiding Your Child Through Grief by Mary Ann Emswiler and James P. Emswiler

When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal GRIEF1with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses by John W. James and Russell Friedman with Leslie Landon

With Our Picture Books and Children’s Non Fiction:
Always and Forever by Alan Durant; illustrated by Debi Gliori

Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varleygrief8

When Aunt Mattie Got Her Wings by Petra Math

The Fall of Freddie the Leaf: a Story of Life for All Ages by Leo Buscaglia

I’ll Always Love You by Hans Wilhelmgrief5

Boats for Papa by Jessixa Bagley

Harry & Hopper by Margaret Wild

When People Die by Pete Sanders and Steve Myersgrief7

Death by Patricia J. Murphy

When a Pet Dies by Fred Rogers

November is Native American Heritage Month

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What started at the turn of the century as an effort to gain a day of recognition for the significant contributions the first Americans made to the establishment and growth of the United States, resulted in President George Bush approving a joint resolution in 1990 designating the whole month of November as Native American Heritage Month.  These original inhabitants of the United States deserve to be honored for their contributions, achievements, sacrifices, and cultural and historical legacies.

The first evidence showing indigenous people to inhabit North America indicates that they migrated here from Siberia over 11,000 years ago. They prospered until around the 15th century when Europeans first arrived.  History was not kind to the Native Americans from that point on.  Today they account only for 1.4 percent of the population and live on designated Indian reservations that are described as ‘third world country’ conditions.  It wasn’t until The 1924 Citizenship Act, that all Native Americans were finally granted U.S. citizenship.

Some of the contributions from Native Americans include:

  1.  Many states names are of Indian derivation, including Connecticut, which means “river whose water is driven by tides or winds”.
  2. Ecology has always been a way of life for Native Americans.  The word ‘conservation’ does not exist in their language because it is an assumed way of life.
  3. Many of the foods we eat today were first grown by Native Americans – including potatoes, beans, corn, peanuts, pumpkins, tomatoes, squash, peppers, nuts, melons, and sunflower seeds.
  4.   Many of the games we play today came from Native Americans – canoeing, snowshoeing, tobogganing, lacrosse, relay races, tug-of-war, cat’s cradle, and ball games.
  5. Benjamin Franklin borrowed the idea of a federal government, in which certain powers are given to a central government and all other powers are reserved for the states, from the system of government used by the Iroquoian League of Nations.
  6. Native Americans developed and communicated with sign language.

Native Americans have a highly respected value system:

  1.  Respect for Mother Earth (Ecology)
  2. Respect for Fellow Man (No Prejudice)
  3. Respect for the Great Spirit (God)
  4. Generosity, sharing, honest leadership selection, bravery, courage, respect for the aged, family traditions.

The library has a wide variety of materials on Native Americans.  Since the Cheshire  schools study the history of Native Americans, our Children’s Department has an extensive collection of books on the subject for check-out.  The Librarian at the Children’s Desk can direct you in locating these materials.

For the adults, here’s a sample of some of the titles you can find at the library.

Tragic Encounters: the people’s history of Native Americans tragic-encountersA United States historian, author, professor and community activist, presents a meticulously researched history of Native Americans after the first European contact, exploring these peoples from coast to coast and giving them a chance to tell their own broad story.

tribeTribe, Race, History: Native Americans in southern New England – Tribe, Race, History examines American Indian communities in southern New England between the Revolution and Reconstruction, when Indians lived in the region’s socioeconomic margins, moved between semi-autonomous communities and towns, and intermarried extensively with blacks and whites.

connecticuts-indigenousConnecticut’s Indigenous People: what archaeology, history, and oral traditions teach us about their communities and cultures – A groundbreaking volume on the rich 13,000-plus-year history and culture of Connecticut’s indigenous peoples.

 

custers-trialsCuster’s Trials: a life on the frontier of a new America – A biography of the iconic Civil War commander examines his contributions to politics and the Industrial Revolution, sharing insights into his turbulent relationships, perspectives on Native Americans, and conflicts with the military.

jacksonlandJacksonland: President Andrew Jackson, Cherokee Chief John Ross, and a great American land grab – Presents a narrative history of President Andrew Jackson and Cherokee Chief John Ross–two heroic yet tragically opposed men whose actions decided the fate of states and Indian nations in America at a moment of transition.

A History of the Indians of the United States- a-history-of-the-indians-of-the-united-statesTraces the history of the American Indians as a distinct social and cultural group in the United States, providing the basis for a critical reappraisal of government Indian policy.

 

windsWinds of Freedom: the story of the Navajo Code Talkers of World War II – Margaret Bixler

 

 

codeWarriors: Navajo Code Talkers Black-and-white photographic portraits of 75 survivors from the Navajo radio operators whose native tongue proved an unbreakable code to the Japanese during World War II.

 

towardToward the Setting Sun: John Ross, the Cherokees, and the trail of tears – Brian Hicks – Documents the story of a first white man to champion the Native American cause, describing his four-decade chieftainship throughout a turbulent period of racism, western expansion and broken treaties.

The Dying Grass: a novel of the Nez Pierce wardying-grass (Fiction) – William T. Vollman – Describes the 1877 war that pitted the legendary Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce against Civil War Veteran General Oliver Otis Howard. By the author of Europe Central.

 

Pushing the Bearpushing (Fiction) – Diane Glancy – Chronicled through the diverse voices of the Cherokee, white soldiers, evangelists, leaders, and others, a historical novel captures the devastating uprooting of the Cherokee from their lands in 1838 and their forced march westward.

 

calebCaleb’s Crossing (Fiction) – Geraldine Brooks – Forging a deep friendship with a Wampanoag chieftain’s son on the Great Harbor settlement where her minister father is working to convert the tribe, Bethia follows his subsequent ivy league education and efforts to bridge cultures among the colonial elite.

 

runnerRunner (Fiction) – Thomas Perry – Native American guide Jane Whitefield returns from retirement to the world of the runner determined to hide a young pregnant girl who has been tracked across the country by a team of hired hunters.

 

Bury My Heart at Wounded Kneebury-my-heart (DVD) – Fictionalized account of the forced annexation and assimilation of Native Americans in the nineteenth century West.

 

For more fiction books with Native American theme, click here.

For Romance readers, two authors have concentrated their writings on the American West – Cassie Edwards and Leigh Greenwood.  Click on their name for a list of titles.

For those who like to read Western Fiction, we have a great assortment from these three authors – William Johnstone, Elmer Kelton, and Zane Grey.  Click on their names for a list of titles.

In 2015, President Obama wrote a moving proclamation that sums up the ideals behind National Native American Heritage month.  You can read President Obama’s Presidential Proclamation for National Native American Heritage Month here.

On a personal note, it’s rare to find a New Englander who doesn’t embrace Colonial decor, but I don’t.  I think in a past life, I must have resided in the old American West!   I love contemporary decor with Southwest touches.  I was fortunate enough to visit the Southwest and bought home a few souvenirs.  (Can you spot the four snowmen I forgot to remove from the display?)

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Sources:  Bureau of Indian Affairs, U.S. Department of the Interior, The White House, USDA: Natural Resources Conservation Service, Indians.org