Serial Solving

I never know what I’ll read next. What ever sparks my interest, either by title, by book cover, or by subject. I have no special direction or particular interest, but if I found one book on a subject interesting, I’m far more likely to read another on the subject, or by the same author.  Hence I’ve read an inordinate amount of books on Ebola, fast fashion, tea, books on the making of various movies, and, well, serial killers.

We know the names. Son of Sam. Ted Bundy. Green River Killer. BTK Killer. Long Island Killer. 

I have no fascination with them, find most of them repellent and frightening beyond description, and did not shed a tear when Jeffery Dahmer died in prison, but I find the psychological processes and forensics involved in tracking them down utterly intriguing. The science end, not the murder end. And there is SO much to be fascinated about. 

Most recently, I read the book American Serial Killers: The Epidemic Years, by Peter Vronsky, and I was blown away by the premise. America – which has more serial killers than any other country (well, that are reported and connected. Other countries have mass murders by corrupt governments, so maybe we’re better off) – had a major epidemic of serial killers (those that intermittently kill more than three people, as opposed to a spree all at once) from around 1970 to the mid 1990’s – more than 600 a year, and then it tapered off sharply. Why? Why did we have terrible trails of serial murders for 25 or 30 years, and then few?  Vronsky makes a very strong, documented  case for the fact that most of these killers were born in the late 40’s and early 50’s (25 or 30 by 1975) and their fathers fought in World War II. Vronsky documents that many of these fathers came back damaged from the war – PTSD, violent, depressed, alcoholic, received no help, and were unable to nurture their children. These boys – coming of age with violent sex images in men’s magazines, pulp fiction novels, and comics – grew up with attachment issues, poor self-image, and violent fantasies about sex, which they slowly began to work up the nerve to carry out. Why did things taper off? Most of those killers were either dead, in prison for other crimes, or had worn themselves out and were living a quiet life until something might trigger them again, unknown to their neighbors. Vietnam Vets received more services than soldiers in the 40’s, there was more public support, it wasn’t as big a deal to divorce a man, and those children did not have the same issues their grandfathers did. Those children of Vietnam vets would have been 25-30 in 1990-95 – years when serial killers were in decline.

Another utterly fascinating book – one that sent me down a long, long wormhole of research – is Barbara Rae-Venter’s I Know Who You Are: How an Amateur DNA Sleuth Unmasked the Golden State Killer and Changed Crime Fighting Forever. The Golden State Killer was alleged to have killed 13 people and committed more than 50 rapes across California between 1974-1986. Because police departments didn’t talk to each other or share information, no one was ever able to piece together all the information. Enter Rae-Venter. Rae-Venter spent her days helping people trace their genealogy and find their families using her home computer. Asked if she could do the same for a suspect, Rae-Venter needed 63 days and $200 to make a genetic profile of the killer from her dining room – something 30 years and $10 million of taxpayer money had never been able to do, leading directly to the apprehension of the killer. Since Rae-Venter, a huge number of backlogged, dead-end cases have been solved and cleared (like the Long Island Killer) due to the methods she used.

Spurred on by her methods, I fell down a rabbit-hole of genealogical research, aided by ancestry.com (free at the library), and in a week was able to trace my mother’s ancestry back 12 generations, connect some gaps, discover my grandmother had an older sister we never heard of (probably because she died at 5 months), and my grandmother’s younger sister was four when she died, not the two my grandmother remembered. Sometimes books are dangerous!

Through both of these books, several names kept popping up, and I realized I’d already read books by both men. John Douglas was the first real FBI criminal profiler, starting in the 1980’s, creating many of the procedures we use today. His book, Mindhunter, chronicles how he began, in a time where every department wanted the glory of solving the case, and thus no one ever shared information, and no one ever solved the cases. 

Unmasked: My Life Solving America’s Cold Cases by Paul Holes, is another. Holes learned the business under Douglas, pursuing cold-case investigations from the 1990’s into the 2000’s.  Some of the cold cases that perplexed them the most and they were never able to solve were later solved by Barbara Rae-Venter’s methods, like the Long Island Killer and the Golden State Killer.

If you don’t care so much about crime but like psychology and sociology, and want to find out why people kill, try I Am a Killer, by Danny Tipping.  It’s a sad book that dwells on the murderers and not so much the crime. Time after time, the horrific backgrounds of these killers are revealed (one father, to hide the bruises and welts on his kid when Social Services was coming, tied him to a mattress, poured lighter fluid on him, and set his back on fire). Many did not deserve the sentences they received, responding to unimaginable abuse. There are no winners in this book. 

Though he technically didn’t kill anyone, if you want local flavor, read Incendiary: The Psychiatrist, The Mad Bomber, and the Invention of Criminal Profiling, by Michael Cannell. Many people claim to have invented criminal profiling, but this was an early case. In the 1940’s, a bomber went around exploding devices all over New York City, then teasing the police through letters. After twenty years, he was determined to be George Metesky – from Waterbury, Connecticut, and the criminal profiling was eerily correct.

If you like crime stories and investigations, these are excellent books. If you like psychology and deviant behavior, these are also excellent books. The difficult part is that they had to be written at all.

The Narcissism Epidemic

Jacket.aspxMerriam-Webster Dictionary defines narcissism succinctly: “Caring too much about yourself and not about other people.”

What that definition doesn’t spell out are all the ramifications of such self-absorption.

In the book The Narcissist Next Door, the author, Jeffrey Kluger, writer and science editor at Time magazine, uses the word “monster” in the sub-title: Understanding the Monster in Your Family, in Your Office, in Your Bed–in Your World.

Are narcissists monsters? Consider these examples of typical narcissist behaviors:

  • Your narcissist mother constantly belittles you but denies she is doing any such thing. There is always an excuse for what she says and does. She is oh so thoughtful. Her selfish manipulations are for your own good. Nasty comments mean she is concerned about you. She only wants to help you.
  • Your narcissist boss criticizes and demeans you. He lets you know he thinks less of you than he does of your coworkers. If you complain, he will treat the matter as a non-issue. He doesn’t care about your complaints. He just wants to let you know that you’re never right.
  • Your narcissist sibling ignores all boundaries. She goes through your things regularly. She asks nosy questions, snoops into your email, room, and conversations. She digs into your feelings, particularly painful ones, and is always looking for negative information that can be used against you.
  • Your narcissist spouse tries to make you look like the crazy one. He will claim not to remember events, flatly denying they ever happened. He will tell you that you’re unstable, otherwise you wouldn’t believe such ridiculous things. You’re over-reacting, like you always do.

Sound like someone you know? Probably, because the number people with this personality disorder doubled over the last 10 years just in the United States. Some refer to it as the Celebrity Epidemic, where outrageous, selfish behavior is rewarded with fame and money, while others blame it on the American emphasis on the importance of the individual. Still others think it is genetic, an inheritable trait that has always been prevalent but is now rampant because of lack of social consequences. Whatever the cause, the cult of self is thriving.

How do you spot a narcissist? First, remember narcissism is not an all-or-nothing disorder. It is a continuum, with some mild behaviors, such as always steering the conversation back to yourself, to more extreme forms, such as those who demean and torment you when no one is watching and then act simply darling in public. Extreme narcissistic behavior includes:

  • Comments that diminish, debase, or degrade someone else
  • Feelings of entitlement
  • Envy that tries to either take or spoil someone else’s pleasure
  • Lying, constantly about everything
  • Emotional manipulation
  • Constantly seeking to be the center of attention
  • Extreme defensiveness and sensitivity, especially about imagined insults
  • Lack of empathy
  • Will never admit to being wrong
  • Bragging and exaggerating achievements
  • Denial of any of the above behaviors

So what to do if you live or work with a narcissist?

Save yourself. Experts overwhelmingly say to leave any relationship where extreme narcissism is present. Most narcissists will never acknowledge they have a problem. It is always everyone else, not them. Getting a narcissist to see a counselor or doctor is nearly impossible, and even when they do, they seldom admit responsibility and so never change. Make your feelings known, but if the narcissist cannot understand or acknowledge your pain, then it’s time to move on.

Here are some resources to help you deal with the narcissist in your life.

 

 

Jacket.aspxThe narcissism epidemic : living in the age of entitlement / Jean M. Twenge, PhD and W. Keith Campbell, PhD

 

 

Jacket.aspxThe mirror effect : how celebrity narcissism is seducing America / Drew Pinsky and S. Mark Young with Jill Stern

 

 

Downloadable Audiobooks

 

 

 

 

 

 

Jacket.aspxWill I ever be free of you? : how to navigate a high-conflict divorce from a narcissist, and heal your family / Karyl McBride

Find the Good

rosesI’m the first to admit that I am a skeptic. I’m always the one saying, “Yeah, but…” in any conversation. However, I have discovered skepticism is not synonymous with pessimism.

This was brought home to me when an acquaintance recently toured my gardens and did nothing but point out the weeds.

“Oh, look,” she exclaimed, her finger quivering as she pointed. “There’s a weed underneath that bush.”

I squinted. Sure enough, a weed was sprawling at the feet of a beautiful pink Knock-Out Rose.

She did this three more time during the tour. She never once mentioned the flowers.

After she left, I wondered what her life must be like since she seemed incapable of seeing anything but weeds. Skeptic though I am, I go through life looking at the roses.

Jacket.aspxIf you like the philosophy of looking at the flowers and not the weeds, I highly recommend the book Find the Good by Heather Lende. The book description says it all:

As the obituary writer in a spectacularly beautiful but often dangerous spit of land in Alaska, Heather Lende knows something about last words and lives well lived. Now she’s distilled what she’s learned about how to live a more exhilarating and meaningful life into three words: find the good. It’s that simple–and that hard.