Plant Intelligence

For thousands of years, Man considered himself the only sentient being in the universe, the only one capable of higher thought, understanding, and language and communication.

We now know that isn’t true. Higher primates, such as gorillas and chimps, are certainly capable of learning not only their own forms of communication, but American Sign Language as well. Dogs, it turns out, are capable of understanding human language at the level of a three year old human child, with some breeds (like German Shepherds) able to differentiate up to a thousand different words. We know that octopi can perform complex tasks (of their own planning, nonetheless), recognize people, and have a functional IQ of about 40. Dolphins and whales have complex languages and not only communicate, but show empathy.

Hence, many people choose not to eat animals, and dine only on plants.

But what about plants? What about their feelings?

Plants? What does a plant know? Corn has ears, but that doesn’t mean it’s listening.

Turns out, plants know more than you think. Plants have been caught communicating in numerous ways, understand when danger is near, and sympathize with other plants.

Yes, really.

This communication is known as phytosemiotics. One way is through chemical signals. A wounded plant will give off a volatile chemical compound (something you can smell) that other plants can sense. The receiving plant can then roll up its leaves or lean away. That wonderful fresh-cut grass smell we love in the summer? Yeah, that’s a hundred thousand blades of grass screaming in agony and warning other plants to beware that something is damaging them. Plants also communicate through ultrasonics – noises above our hearing range but which can be detected and recorded on audio equipment (ultrasonic vibration of 20–105 kHz). Some of this may be due to tiny air bubbles being released due to chemicals triggered during stress. Trees, it turns out, communicate under the soil as well, using certain types of fungi in the dirt to communicate through their roots. Are they discussing algebra? No. But they can tell each other about dangers, or fresh rain, or the pain of bark beetles, and other plants can ‘arm’ themselves accordingly. Just the sound of insects chewing can cause plants to release chemicals that deter insects (caffeine, by the way, exists in plants as a natural insect repellent).

Perhaps the Druids were on to something, thanking plants for sacrificing their leaves.

If that’s not weird enough, plants – even those without ears – apparently respond to music. Sure, houseplant lovers will tell you they’ve always known this, but numerous studies have turned up actual results. As early as 1962, studies showed that plants exposed to classical music had a 20% growth increase and a 72% increase in biomass over controls. Violins gave the best result. This was repeated by a Canadian researcher, with 66% increase in wheat yields using Bach’s violin sonatas. Duckweed, a water plant, exposed to Bandri’s Purple Butterfly, five hours a day for seven days at 60-70 decibels, showed a 10% increase in leaf growth and a slightly higher protein content compared to silent plants. Roses love violin music. Heavy metal tends to induce stress. Devendra Varol of the Institute of Integrated Study in India found that plants can not only distinguish between genres of music, but also nature sounds and traffic noises.

Oh, those poor weeds on the highway!

And while you laugh and scoff, know that in 2004 the TV show MythBusters attempted similar experiments in seven greenhouses. In their experience, Death Metal produced the best growth, second was classical, and third was positive spoken words. The silent greenhouse had the worst growth.

How can this possibly be?

The best theory is that the vibration of music may aid plants in transporting their nutrients more efficiently, shaking things through faster. 

Next time you pull a carrot, remember those mandrakes in Harry Potter shrieking piteously when pulled from the pot.

In the meantime, check out these books on the wisdom of plants, and be kind to your root-footed friends!

Finding the Mother Tree by Suzanne Simard

The Serviceberry by Robin Wall Kimmerer

Listen to the Language of Trees by Tera Kelley

Aromatherapy Garden by Kathi Keville

Secret Wisdom of Nature by Peter Wohlleben

Flora by Helen Fewster

The Light Eaters by Zoe Schlanger

I Heard There Was a Secret Chord: Music as Medicine by Daniel Levitin

Healing at the Speed of Sound by Don Campbell

How Shostakovich changed my mind by Stephen Johnson

Violin Music:

Shatter Me by Lindsey Stirling

David Garrett by David Garret

Vivaldi for Dummies

The Ultimate Most Relaxing Mozart in the Universe

Get Your Kicks with Martial Arts Films

Ever wonder how much of movie fight scenes are staged and faked, and how much is real? Today, so much is done on a green screen, even the locations are unconvincing. You can be sure, however, that martial arts films are very real.

Martial arts films have some of the best action and fight choreography you can find in film, and they often span multiple genres. Some are written specifically for comedy (most American Jackie Chan films, like Rush Hour), while others are mind-bending (The Matrix). Some are more realistic (Enter the Dragon), while others are not (John Wick 4. Thirteen consecutive hits by cars? I think not. Don’t get me wrong – the John Wick series is in my top 20 films, but this pushes credibility.) Foreign films tend to focus more on the art and less on a story line (sorry, subtitles or overdubbing, the dialogue in Jackie Chan’s Police Story is downright painful, even though the action and car chases are superb), while American films tend to have a story line that is stretched to make room for the action scenes (If John Wick can kill three men with a pencil, does that make the Joker, who kills one, also a martial artist?). Some movies are very good (Ip Man 2, which is a lot like Hong Kong Rocky) while others are cringeworthy and forced (American Kickboxer, for one).

Few martial arts movies are “pure” – there are few “karate” or “judo” or “jiu jitsu” films. Most martial arts films use mixed martial arts, as the actors are usually multiply trained. Bruce Lee, the granddaddy of martial arts stars, didn’t hold a black belt in anything, but invented his own school called Jeet Kune Do. Lee studied under the actual Ip Man, Yip Kai-Man, who invented the school of Wing Chun. The incredible Donnie Yen, whose greatest American films have been Star Wars: Rogue One and John Wick 4, has black belts in Wing Chun, Judo, a sixth-level black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and a purple belt in Jiu Jitsu. Keanu Reeves, of John Wick and Matrix fame, holds a black belt in Jiu Jitsu, as well as black belts in Judo and Karate.

What’s the difference between all the different martial arts forms? Generally, they’re very minor. Some use open hand, some used closed. Some are meant to deflect and defend, others to overpower (Krav Maga). Some emphasize hand work over kicks. Aikido deflects the energy of an attacker, rather than responding. Jiu Jitsu is about pinning and dominating an opponent. Wing Chun focuses on the center of the body and rapid-fire punching, similar to boxing. A second difference is the concept of “belts.” The “belt” level concept is Japanese in origin, while the Chinese systems don’t always use it. This is partly why some of the greatest martial artists of film – such as Bruce Lee – don’t have black belts in any denomination.  Traditionally, the forms using belt levels are karate, tae kwon do, judo, and jiu jitsu.

You might be surprised to know there are a number of western action actors who are more than proficient at various martial arts, including Iron Man actor Robert Downey Jr. (Wing Chun), Wesley Snipes (5th level black belt in karate, 2nd level black belt in Hapkido, plus jiujitsu, kickboxing, kung fu, and capoeira), and Steven Seagal, a 7th-level black belt in Aikido. Chuck Norris has a tenth-degree blackbelt in Tang Su Do. Jean-Claude Van Damme has black belts in karate and kickboxing. Sean Connery, the first James Bond, had a black belt in karate. Jason Statham has a brown belt in jiu jitsu. Even Willie Nelson is a fifth-degree black belt in Korean Gongkwon Yusul, which he has studied for more than twenty years.

On the other hand, Michelle Yeoh, who stars in many martial arts-action films, has no formal training at all, but chalks up her moves to dance training. On film, no one can tell.

Don’t skip a movie just because it’s in a foreign language. Movies like Ip Man 2 and Seven Samurai are well-worth reading captions. Whether you like your action cheesy and fun, or serious and deadly, check out these films that feature martial arts or martial artists, and be careful what you kick or punch!

8 Movie Action Pack

Big Trouble in Little China

Art of Self Defense

As Good as Dead

Big Trouble in Little China

Blade

From Russia With Love

Embattled

Everything Everywhere All At Once

Fearless

Forbidden Kingdom

Foreigner

Hero

Jiu Jitsu

John Wick 1-4

Karate Kid

Keeper

Kill Bill

The Matrix

Mulan

Rush Hour

Pistol Whipped

Red Cliff

Rogue One

Rush Hour

Sakra

Seven Samurai

Shang Chi

Spy Next Door

The Assassin

XXX Return of Xander Cage

Getting Cult-ured

We’ve all heard the term, “It’s a cult classic,” “It’s a cult film,” but what actually is a cult film? For one thing, it has zero to do with charismatic leaders or brainwashing. Cult films can be weird, but some are wildly popular.

While the definition itself is elusive, and films can theoretically lose their cult status if they become mainstream, there are several factors that help define which films can fall in that category. For one, it has to bomb at the box office. This doesn’t mean it was a bad film – Donnie Darko did lousy because the film revolved around a plane crash, and it was released just weeks after 9/11, and all the advertisers pulled out. The Princess Bride became a wildly popular film that did poorly in the theaters, mostly because the studio didn’t know how to market it – kid flick, or adult? Love story, fantasy, or comedy? With no marketing, it didn’t fare well.

A second common requirement is the movie has to be unconventional. It’s not something that will appeal to everyone. Quentin Tarantino films are widely lauded, but Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs aren’t for everyone. Neither are David Lynch films. I love Eraserhead, but it’s a bizarre, trippy, nightmarish film of a man trapped in a dystopian Philadelphia, caring for his grotesquely deformed infant. It is not going to be a runaway hit. Lynch’s TV series Twin Peaks falls in this category, too.

A third is a wildly loyal fan base, who not only quote the film but can often recite most of the dialogue. Many films, of course, fall in this category, but don’t meet the other criteria. Thousands of people are rabid Star Wars fans, or Wizard of Oz fans, or Casablanca fans, but those are mainstream films that appeal to the masses. Fight Club can fall in here. Also Jim Henson’s Labyrinth and The Big Lebowski.

Some claim a cult film must be subversive – this opens the door to a host of horror (Human Centipede, Nosferatu), exploitation (Freaks), pornography, over the top documentaries (like Reefer Madness), and more, but that’s not always the case. Traditionally, cult films gained their popularity from midnight movie showings. Now thanks to streaming, any film on the internet can become a cult film.

Other films fall into the campy, grade-B (or -C) genre films under the guise of “It’s so bad, it’s good.”  Jane Fonda’s Barbarella can fall under here. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was written specifically that way. Also Attack of the 50-foot Woman, Forbidden Planet, and Plan 9 From Outer Space – a movie credited with being the worst motion picture of all time. You have to laugh at how bad it really is.

The Granddaddy of all “Cult” films, of course, is Rocky Horror Picture Show. It checks every box – subversive (open sexuality!), midnight showings, camp (Tim Curry vamping it up in leather and lace), a guilty pleasure, definitely not mainstream, and a rabidly loyal fan base who can sing and quote the entire movie from memory, while throwing toast and raising umbrellas depending on the scene. It’s a great, if strange, film with a fabulous soundtrack, but not family friendly. It struggled in theaters initially, but Rocky Horror is currently the seventh highest grossing rock film when adjusted for inflation, and at 49 years old, it is the oldest continuously released movie in history – you can still find it playing in a theater somewhere. It now on the National Registry of films as culturally important.

So much for non-mainstream and subversive.

TV shows can be cult as well.  The original Star Trek would qualify – a show with such poor ratings it was cancelled after two seasons, only to have a huge outcry from a fanbase that got it renewed for a third season … and then a mega-empire of movies and TV series. Firefly too – a show of only 14 episodes with a fan base so active it spawned a motion picture (Serenity) – as are Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Lost, Arrested Development, South Park, and The Simpsons. While both South Park and The Simpsons were wildly popular, they’ve been in production for 26 and 36 seasons, respectively, which puts them into cult status.

You probably already love a “cult” film, but give some of these a try and see if you agree!

Eraserhead

The Man Who Fell to Earth

Plan 9 from Outer Space

Princess Bride

Barbarella

Big Lebowski

Big Trouble in Little China

Boondock Saints

Brazil

A Clockwork Orange

Elephant Man

Escape from NY

(TV) Firefly

Freaks

Harold & Maude

Kill Bill

Labyrinth

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Napoleon Dynamite

Night of the Living Dead

Pulp Fiction

Reservoir Dogs

Rocky Horror Picture Show

This is Spinal Tap

Tommy

Kung Fu/ martial arts films such as Enter the Dragon

Hocus Pocus

Mondegreens

Say What?

We’ve all been there, singing along with Elton John on the radio:

“Hold me closer, Tony Danza. Count the head lice on the highwaaaayyyy….”

Right?

But the song is Tiny Dancer, and they count the head lights on the highway.

Mishearing lyrics is as common as listening to music – and popular music is full of garbled lyrics open to guesswork. Does anyone really know (or understand) Springsteen’s (or Manfred Mann’s cover) Blinded by the Light? For years I swore Dolly Parton said Jolene had Ivorish skin and eyes of Bilbo green. Made no sense, but try as I might, that’s what I heard. Other people swear The Beatles are singing about the girl with colitis going by, Creedence Clearwater Revival wails about being “Stuck with an old diaper pin,” or “There’s a bathroom on the right.”

Mishearing lyrics like that is called a Mondegreen, a term coined by Sylvia Wright in 1954, when she insisted the lyrics to “The Bonnie Earl o’ Moray” were not “laid him on the green” but “Lady Mondegreen.” If you continue to insist your misheard lyrics are correct, even when given the correct ones, it’s called a mumpsimus (in case you needed a new word today). Of course, sometimes the misheard lyrics are just more fun to sing (such as headlice on the highway), and you sing it that way anyway.

Mondegreens aren’t limited to modern music. One of the more common ones is hearing “Gladly the cross-eyed bear” for the line “Gladly the cross I’d bear” in the hymn Keep Thou My Way. Mondegreens are made by our own brains by substituting things that make more sense to us, whether by word or experience. If you don’t know the actual word, your brain substitutes one it already knows that is similar. If you’ve got no experience with something, you might automatically substitute something you do know: the folksong Golden Vanity talks about the lowland, lowland sea, but if you’re from Appalachia, and have no idea what a lowland sea is, the words became lonesome sea. Thankfully more of us are familiar with head lights than head lice.

Some mondegreens were so popular and universal that the bands themselves started singing them that way. ELO’s Don’t Bring Me Down is almost universally sung as “Don’t bring me down. Bruce!” but the word was originally groose, which was a nonsense placeholder word during the writing that was liked so much, it was left in the final song. Eventually they, too, sang it as bruce. Jimi Hendrix and John Fogerty also embraced and sang their own mondegreens.

Mondegreens bleed over into books – Vivian Walsh’s book, Olive, the Other Reindeer plays on misheard lyrics of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and A Monk Swimming by Malachy McCourt is taken from the misheard prayer line, amongst women. The Lonely Planet travel guides are taken from the misheard lyric lovely planet from Joe Cocker’s rendition of “Space Captain.” Ed McBain has a mystery novel, Gladly the Cross-Eyed Bear.

Here are some of the more common mondegreens in modern music. Check out the songs, and listen for yourself. Can you hear both versions? What are some lyrics you mishear all the time?

Purple Haze, Jimmy Hendrix: I want to kiss this guy, is really, I want to kiss the sky.

Lodi, Creedence Clearwater Revival: Stuck with an old diaper pin for Stuck in Lodi again.

Bad Moon Rising, Creedence Clearwater Revival: There’s a bathroom on the right/ There’s a bad moon on the rise.

Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, The Beatles: A girl with colitis goes by/ A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

Stairway to Heaven, Led Zeppelin: And there’s a wino down the road/ And as we wind on down the road.

Blinded by the Light, Bruce Springsteen: Wrapped up like a douche with a Corona in the night/ Wrapped up like a deuce, another runner in the night.

Higher Love, Steve Winwood: Bake me a pie of love/ Bring me a higher love.

Dancing Queen, ABBA: See that girl, watch her scream, kicking the dancing queen.
/See that girl, watch that scene, digging the dancing queen.

Joy to the World, Three Dog Night:  Joy to the visions that the people see/ Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea.

The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite, R.E.M.:  Calling Jamaica/ Call me when you try to wake her (Wait – it’s NOT Jamaica?)

Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana: Here we are now, in containers/ Here we are now, entertain us

Blank Space, Taylor Swift: Got a lot of Starbucks lovers/Got a long list of ex-lovers

THIS is a deuce coupe, running in the night

Save Your Memories

In December of 1983, we didn’t have internet. We barely had personal computers – a 256k machine cost $500, and you had to program it yourself. You couldn’t just save to disk, you had to format the darned thing before you could even use it. Video tape machines cost $600, and DVDs were still a dream. We were on the cusp of the CD player, but the real world still ran on cassette tapes. 

I was no different, with a cassette tape built into my stereo, eagerly recording songs and programs off the radio as they played live. Yes, we still listened to live radio programs back then, whether Casey Kasem’s American Top 40 Countdown, or Radio Mystery Theater, or, on Sunday nights, Dr. Demento, the leading program for off the wall parody and novelty music.

What’s novelty music? Novelty music is a humorous song that doesn’t fit in any other category but entertainment. You know it well. Alvin and the Chipmunks is novelty music. Barnes and Barnes’ Fish Heads. The Purple People Eater. The Monster Mash. Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini. Steve Martin’s King Tut. Anything by Tom Lehrer or Weird Al Yankovic. While it’s a serious industry with all the requirements of mainstream music, and such songs can hit high on the pop charts (The Monster Mash hit #1), novelty music isn’t considered “serious” music. 

On that Sunday, it was the Christmas edition of Dr. Demento, and I threw a cassette in the player and hit record, because, back then, Grandma Got Run Over by A Reindeer was just a basement tape on Dr. Demento, it hadn’t gotten a contract yet. Weird Al wasn’t mainstream, and hadn’t gotten permission from the Kinks yet to record his Lola parody Yoda. On that tape, I happened, by luck, to record a song that in the history of radio may only have been played one time. It was a “bonus” track to fill space, and it was the only time it ever appeared on Dr. Demento. It hasn’t even been uploaded to his website. And it is one of my absolute favorites of underground tapes. In the era of the cold war, that song scared the living daylights out of me.

Cylent Night, by the Scrooge Brothers, tells a short story of the start of World War 3 to the tune of Silent Night, while air raid sirens start in the background and grow slowly louder. Off went the bomb at a quarter to three/ It’s the end of you and the end of me….  Have that hit you out of nowhere when you’re listening to the radio at 10 at night in your basement. In 40 years, I’ve never forgotten a line. And I just happen to have that song on tape. 

But cassette tapes are fragile things. They demagnetize. They fade. They tangle. My very rare basement tape has been bouncing around drawers and basements for 40 years. So what did I do? With the equipment at the Cheshire Public Library AV Studio, I very easily threw that cassette into the player and transferred that song to digital Media. Now I can store it digitally, share it with other Dementoids and Dementites who have never heard it (if you didn’t hear it live, you truly never heard it), even send it back to Dr. Demento. 

We all have those things kicking around our homes. Media changes so rapidly, from reel to reel tapes to 8 Track to cassette to CD to memory stick. We all have Grandma’s vacation slides of the Old Country, with relatives no one ever met. Dad’s wedding videos. That old LP you have that’s never been released on CD (or singles, like Rolf Harris’s Two Buffalos, which Bob Steele used to play on WTIC-AM). Your personal video of MTV’s top 100 countdown of 1985, when music videos were short stories of their own. You can transfer all of them to digital media, right here.

Beware, though – transfers occur in real-time. If you’re planning on transferring that 12-hour MTV countdown, it’s going to take 12 hours to put it onto digital. You might want to do it over a few weeks. But that LP? 40 minutes, you’ll be done.

Call (203) 272-2245 ext. 61245 to schedule an appointment at the AV Studio!