raising independant girls

My little princess is much more likely to get dirty playing in the mud than her big brother, but still enjoys the occasion frilly dress and ruffles. She is far from the typical princess, and I relish that. Like her, I was more likely to be found playing ‘boy’ games then rocking the pick dresses I was often decked out in. I love the independent nature and rough and ready style of my little girl, and want to encourage her to continue being herself and help both of my kids ignore the standard gender roles and do what makes them happy rather than conforming to the roles of pretty princess and brave knight.

In my efforts to find books that break the stereotypes, I have found a large number of books that feature princesses breaking the standard image. Some of the princess are up to saving themselves, and sometimes saving the prince as well, others are just content in being who they really are and encourage readers of all ages to do the same.

Lovabye Dragon by Barbara Joosse; illustrated by Randy Cecil. When a lonely dragon follows a trail of princess tears, a beautiful friendship is born. They march and sing, roar and whisper, hide and seek, then settle into snug companionship at bedtime.

The Pirate Princess by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen; illustrated by Jill McElmurry. Tired of the royal life, Princess Bea boards a pirate ship and sets out for adventure on the high seas but soon finds she is not good at swabbing decks, cooking in the galley, or keeping watch from the crow’s nest.

Princess Peepers by Pam Calvert; illustrated by Tuesday Mourning. When the other princesses make fun of her for wearing glasses, Princess Peepers vows to go without, but after several mishaps–one of which is especially coincidental–she admits that she really does need them if she wants to see.

Part-Time Princess by Deborah Underwood; illustrated by Cambria Evans. A girl escapes her annoying little brother and the drudgery of school and home life when she travels to a magical kingdom each night and embarks on a series of adventures.

Princess Smartypants by Babette Cole. Not wishing to marry any of her royal suitors, Princess Smartypants devises difficult tasks at which they all fail, until the multitalented Prince Swashbuckle appears.

Thankfully books like these are becoming easier to find, books where a princess (or any girl) is measured by more than her looks and ability to be sweet and quiet. Here are some more great books about princesses that break the mold; The Barefoot Book of Princesses retold by Caitlín Matthews; illustrated by Olwyn Whelan, The Storytelling Princess by Rafe Marti; illustrated by Kimberly Bulcken Root, The Apple-Pip Princess by Jane Ray, Do Princesses Have Best Friends Forever? by Carmela LaVigna Coyle; illustrated by Mike Gordon and Carl Gordon, Not All Princesses Dress in Pink by Jane Yolen and Heidi E.Y. Stemple; illustrated by Anne-Sophie Lanquetin, Princesses are Not Quitters! by Kate Lum; illustrated by Sue Hellard, Princess Pigsty by Cornelia Funk ; illustrated by Kerstin Meyer; translated by Chantal Wright, The Paper Princess by Elisa Kleven, The Paper Bag Princess written by Robert N. Munsch; illustrated by Michael Martchenko, and Princess Hyacinth: The Surprising Tale of a Girl who Floated by Florence Parry Heide; illustrated by Lane Smith.

I was never the typically girl dressed in pink (willingly anyway) and pretending to be a princess. Instead, I was out climbing trees and playing astronaut with the boys and defending my right to do so even though I was ‘just a girl’. My daughter loves pink and purple, but is just as likely to jump in a mud puddle as she would be to convince her big brother and all the superheros or monsters of the day to have a tea party. I want her to stay open to all possibilities and be a strong individual. I do not want her waiting for a prince or knight to rescue her, so I am always on the lookout for books that reinforce that idea. Here are some of the best picturebooks that I have found that support growth of every girl into a strong, capable individual.

The Paper Bag Princess written by Robert N. Munsch; illustrated Michael Martchenko
After her castle and clothes are destroyed by the dragon, Princess Elizabeth, dressed only in a paper bag, sets out to rescue Prince Ronald, who was taken captive.

Me– Jane by Patrick McDonnell
Holding her stuffed toy chimpanzee, young Jane Goodall observes nature, reads Tarzan books, and dreams of living in Africa and helping animals. Includes biographical information on the prominent zoologist.

The Sandwich Swap by Her Majesty Queen Rania Al Abdullah with Kelly DiPucchio; illustrated by Tricia Tusa. Best friends Lily and Salma disagree over their preferred foods, but after trading sandwiches to see how they taste, the girls change their minds.

I Like Myself! written by Karen Beaumont; illustrated by David Catrow
In rhyming text, a child expresses her self-esteem and exults in her unique identity.

Cloud Tea Monkeys by Mal Peet and Elspeth Graham; illustrated by Juan Wijngaard
When her mother becomes too ill to harvest tea on the nearby plantation, Shenaz is too small to fill in, but when she tells the monkeys she has befriended why she is sad, they bring her a basket filled with rare and valuable wild tea.

The Gardener written by Sarah Stewart; pictures by David Small
A series of letters relating what happens when, after her father loses his job, Lydia Grace goes to live with her Uncle Jim in the city but takes her love for gardening with her.

For even more books you can take a look at these options; Amazing Grace written by Mary Hoffman; pictures by Caroline Binch, The Three Ninja Pigs written by Corey Rosen Schwartz; illustrated by Dan Santat, Every Cowgirl Needs Dancing Boots by Rebecca Janni, Blueberry Girl written by Neil Gaiman; illustrated by Charles Vess, Not All Princesses Dress in Pink written by Jane Yolen and Heidi E.Y. Stemple; illustrated by Anne-Sophie Lanquetin, My Name is Not Isabella written by Jennifer Fosberry; pictures by Mike Litwin, Basketball Belles written by Sue Macy; illustrated by Matt Collins, The Dot by Peter H. Reynolds, Sally Jean, the Bicycle Queen written by Cari Best ; pictures by Christine Davenier, O’Sullivan Stew: a Tale Cooked Up in Ireland wirtten by Hudson Talbott, Unspoken: a Story From the Underground Railroad by Henry Cole, and The Princess Knight written by Cornelia Funke; illustrations by Kerstin Meyer; translated by Anthea Bell.